LONDON - "Oh my god, I'm a sinner," Ubaid said he once thought of himself. "I kept praying... Homosexual and 'passionate ab
Several years after deciding not to enter into a marriage arranged by his parents, he is now secretary of Imaan, the United Kingdom's only gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender Muslim group.
Imaan's members feel like they are targets of both a wider society that discriminates against Muslims, and a Muslim community that sees homosexuality as a Western disease.
While members vary in how rigidly they keep to Islamic practices like praying five times a day and eating halal food, Ubaid said Imaan is for people who believe that they can be gay and Muslim. If they were raised in a Muslim family but have renounced the religion, Imaan probably would not appeal to them.
The group was started in 1998 as a branch of the U.S. gay Muslim group, Al-Fatiha, after its American members visited London. It serves as a support network, and is a meeting place for people to pray together and celebrate Islamic holidays.
Imaan hosts conferences that deal with such topics as culture, Islamaphobia, non-Muslim partners, HIV and Islam, relatives of gay Muslims, and trans-sexual Muslims. And some members take part in gay pride events.
On July 1, around 25 Imaan members rode atop a float in the EuroPride 06 parade in London. With banners reading "Gay Muslims unveiled" and flags of the United Kingdom and from across the Islamic world, they waved cheerfully at the crowd.
While they didn't hide themselves in rainbow burkhas as they did the previous year, most were still reluctant to give their names or be photographed for fear of reprisals.
In fact, Iqbal Sacranie, who served as the Muslim Council of Britain's general secretary until this June, told the BBC in January that homosexuality is "not acceptable," and that Britain's introduction of Civil Partnerships did "not augur well" for building the foundations of society.
In 2001, a fatwa was issued against Al-Fatiha, the U.S. gay Muslim umbrella group by al-Muhajiroun, an international organization that seeks the establishment of an Islamic caliphate.
"I tried not to be a sinner all my life, and then I thought, here I am, I'm going to go to hell," Ubaid said of when he came to terms with his homosexuality.
"I'd never had a girlfriend or been attracted to the opposite sex. But, as sex is never talked about (in Muslim circles), it never really occurred to me until I got out of high school."
Ubaid began rejecting his parents' overtures for him to get married. They couldn't understand his resistance and he failed to give them a reason.
If they found out he was gay, "I thought they might lose it, might kick me out of the house, and although my parents have never physically hurt me I thought they might, or I'd be sent to Pakistan and forced into marriage."
Ubaid said his family do not accept his homosexuality and continue to ask him about marriage, but "they still keep me under their wing, and still love and nurture me as they always did before."
Ubaid insisted that his words not be misused to slander Islam as a repressive or hostile religion as he feels very strongly about most aspects of the faith. However, he said he hoped that the Islamic world would become more open to discussions on sexuality and more accepting of those who are not heterosexual.
"Judaism and Christianity have moved on over the years and allow dialogue to take place, but sex isn't talked about full stop (in the Islamic world)," he said, adding that non-Muslim gay men often ask him why he'd be part of a religion that doesn't accept him, and noting a rise in Islamaphobia within the gay community.
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